Self-Alienation
The state of self-alienation — that of not being one’s true self. A common experience we all have. This is a limiting belief we hold in our unconscious selves, that says “this is just how I am”.
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What is self-alienation? and how self-awareness can be the cure.
Self-alienation is a sense of detachment from or a lack of awareness of one’s own thoughts, emotions, or identity — This can be so predominant that its symptoms are not conspicuous. Thus, causing these behaviours to fall within our auto-pilot selves. You miss noticing them because they are so general that you assume them to be “normal”, or “who you are”. Sadly, the truth often is that this conclusion is made and stubbornly stuck to without honest self-reflection. This lack of self Inquiry and self-awareness, results in a lot of suffering.
Is suffering a choice?
This can be a tricky concept to get around. See, pain isn’t optional. We dont have a choice whether we experience pain. This is apart of our human contract. From the moment we’re born we experience pain. Be it physical, emotional or otherwise. This is an aspect of life that inevitably grows us and is unavoidable.
However, suffering on the other hand, often can be a choice for those who practice mindful inquiry. See, when we experience pain, it is in that present moment that it impacts us. Now, without mindful awareness we dwell and become fused to the pain. This fusion causes suffering as we linger the pain on. It can be an unconscious torture we all experience. This is not to say that time isn’t needed to help us process, nor does this mean that we must bypass our experiences. It just means that we may liberate ourselves from suffering, if we practice more mindful self-awareness. In this sense, the load of suffering experienced may be better handled and therefore have a lower impact in the long run.
- Want to know how to cultivate self-awareness? I encourage you to read my “Self-Awareness… Am I doing it right??” blog.
Why do we not self-reflect on the “just me” behaviours?
The core reason behind the lack of investigation into our self-alienation is that, it’s uncomfortable! Really, think about it. As a being of survival, we do not want to go into the maladaptive parts of ourselves to see what’s there. The discomfort mixed with lack of awareness creates a natural barrier. Instead, we would rather strive forward, leaving our defenses up and emotions unprocessed. Somehow our primal selves feel better this way. Especially within a society that doesn’t hold space for healing, it’s really uncomfortable to push against all of that conditioning.
Healing to some seems like a punishment. An impossible task, or even something that is so deeply avoided that the very idea of it triggers us. However, the integrative process of healing teaches us to access and maintain our own true selves, along with our undeniable self-worth as living beings. Making healing a core responsibility we all must take.
Take a day to heal from the lies you’ve told yourself and the ones that have been told to you.
– Maya Angelou
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How do we begin to heal from self-alienation?
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, SELF-AWARENESS! Let me show you what I mean by this. Human nature and its struggle to survive, attempts to overcome the obstructions that come from unawareness. This is our natural striving. To understand the world and our relation to it. Here, unawareness means unreality, untruth.
Why untruth?
Well, our realities start within our own minds. If the beliefs within us are limiting, the reality we can experience will be limited too. This untruth then produces suffering. Naturally so, as we dwell within the unawareness. This might also be expressed as the struggle between spirit and mind. Where we are not congruent with our own holistic system. For examples, what you believe, say and do aren’t in alignment.
Remember, the mind/psyche is a result of conditioning. An element of self that must be realized. The realization of one’s own conditioning gives you the mind map needed to untangle yourself from it. To then reconnect yourself to a more authentic self. A self based in soul.
Only when you become aware of your own untruth, not general untruth, can you finally overcome it. Only as you discover your own unreality — wrong conclusions, pseudo-solutions, and mind fallacies will you slowly begin to cultivate self-awareness.
“For many years this was so foreign to me. I mean, how could I possibly change if I am not being critical of myself. What would give me the nudge to do better when faced with truth”? ->Read your solution here in my Fruition of Self-Awareness blog.
Using spirit to bridge the gaps.
Spirit, is the tranquillity that comes with the awareness, that you can create the reality you experience. This realization isn’t an easy one to obtain. It involves a lot of mindful intervention, all-while you realize that your inner world does in-fact reflect the outer and visa versa.
Although spirit knows no time and is not bound by routine, it is however connected to intention. Intention shows up in our behaviours and thoughts. So, setting up routines that support your manifestations help you to embody the energy you’re trying to call in.
Here the healing ‘aware’ parts of ourselves naturally begin to act from a true core, rather than from the conditioned fears and distorted perceptions we’ve developed. Only when you act and react from the core will you reach and affect the core of others, regardless of whether or not they themselves work on such a path of awareness.
Awareness heals, and it is all encompassing. However, I find it is also a snow ball effect. Being aware manifests more awareness. See how it works?
How do we overcome this self-alienation?
We overcome self-alienation by creating mindful intention in our daily lives. Here this comes in the form of integrative routines. Where you create spaces for yourself that facilitate the energy you’re wanting to have. Remember! We manifest what we are, not what we want.
Lets reflect:
If I had to ask you, “What is your dream life?” Then, “How will you try to achieve this life (in a general sense)?” Lastly, “What can you start with today, tonight or tomorrow that can begin to hold space for that dream?”
Note how these objective answers and solutions make space for open-minded thinking about yourself. You do not need to self-sabotage or restrict yourself with guilt, calories or anything else to achieve the life goals you have. Punishing ourselves doesn’t help. This reaction to change is rooted in unmindful mislead conditioning. Break the cycle!
This follows the law of attraction — which is the relationship between your thoughts and how they create your reality. Where your thoughts create vibrations, and your thinking generates a frequency that attracts things with the same energy to you. Here, we use awareness as the map, to which we can direct our energy accordingly, “ It’s Intuition”! Then using the body as a vehicle to fulfill the desired tasks, integrating the whole holistic system into every decision made. ITS BEAUTIFUL MANIFESTATION MAGIC.
As a Holistic Professional I can offer you mindful routine restructuring. Where we integrate your needs, goals, dreams and responsibilities to get you 1 step closer to a holistic balanced life.
The challenge.
The challenge here is to overcome your limiting beliefs and know that they are self-imposed. This bitter pill to swallow, offers the realization that every single one of your decisions in life, good and bad, has been shaped by you alone. An empowering or debilitating statement, depending on your current position and relationship with yourself.
Tap into yourself deeply. Know your own heart and soul, spend time with yourself like you would someone you love. It may be strange at first, but all relationships are at the beginning. Plus, you’re so worth all your own love.
How to spot self-alienation.
- One way of spotting self-alienation is by becoming dedicated to feeling out your emotions. Understanding their root cause, to then self-regulate. This process can be expanded with the help of a Holistic Professional, such as myself.
2. Another way is to determine in what areas of life you feel helpless.
- Maybe you feel trapped in situations outside your control?
- What are those and how can you find balanced liberation?
3. You can also try investigating your relationship with others.
- Understand the meaning and root of your connections.
- Find ways to cut out energies that do not hold space for yours.
4. Finally, get out into nature. Allow its slow energies to silence the chatter of the mind. Get rooted in the earth and let yourself feel connected. “I find that time in nature gives great perspective, something often needed when we are feeling stuck”.
Why do we need a perspective change?
Because, whenever helplessness exists, there must be an underlying problem, an unresolved conflict. It is your responsibility as an aware being to find that out. To carry this a step further, you may see an unresolved conflict as the result of self-alienation, or see self-alienation as the result of an unresolved problem. Any way you wish to process it, helplessness, powerlessness, numbness, emptiness or loneliness is a paralysis of your holistic system.
These signs must be acknowledged. As often there isn’t good or bad decisions, but rather mindful or unmindful decisions. Which side do you find yourself on? And where do you want to be?
Ill let you decide.
–With gratitude, Demi-Gea.
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